I've begun to wonder if what I had intended as some sort of delusional, grand-comeback was worth partaking in at all. I think it became more difficult to write when the feedback ceased coming. I was so very excited on returning to all of my watchers and watchees, but the airwaves are so much more silent. What used to be a blessing when I was insecure is torture now that I've grown very sure of my abilities and more comfortable in my own artistic skills. It's hard to know what I'm doing right and what I'm doing wrong when no critiques come.
Either way, I suppose I can take the opportunity to ramble if the ears and eyes are closed.

I've kind of come full-circle musically. I started off wanting to be in a "goth" band and got into heavier fare, then I was colored by the psychedelic experiences of the scene in Ruston, and now I'm back in my musical (and literal) hometown with EVC. The problem with all of the things I've played is that it's all so cliched. So, we're a "goth," post-punk, shoegaze band. Whatever. I love sound, I love motion, I love texture, I love practically exploding with the utmost earnestness as some form of spectacle. I don't mind a label, but I don't want to be held to an expectation or framed within one. All things Goth are just, kind of a bore to me at this age. I want to fit into the band as far as a "look" because people expect a coherent package, but I don't want the all-black, all-somber attire expected of the scene. I'm actually a bit too flashy for that at this point; I've grown out of the overdramatics and the teenage wardrobe.
Then, the actual sound of goth. I don't mind being retro, but I don't want to make a career out of it. I just...want it to be something fresh. We've been developing a bluesy tinge lately and it appeals to the hippie-esque experiences in Louisiana, but I'm not certain about it all. I just look at the "scene" and it's all so stale and repetitive. I love when we find a sound that's unusual, or something unexpected. I want us to be over the top and insane and vulgar and beautiful all at once. I'm only the bassist, and can't drive the sound too much (though Toby does seem to give me lots of credit for my opinions), so...I can't be too demanding. It's just a time of lots of searching. I suppose at the end of the day, I'm curious as to what "our sound" will be like when we all come together as a unit more fully. I'm hoping we're something that can really grip the masses. Wish us luck.